There is no delicate way to put this, but right now, at this very moment, there are farming folk, yokels, honest toilers of the land, who are getting off on a film to which I have lent my voice.
Across the globe, in farmhouses, barns and possibly even out in the field using a handheld device and a set of headphones, these sons of the soil are enjoying the sight of seeds shooting suggestively out of a tube in slow motion as my dulcet tones wash over them.
Here it is, two minutes and twenty three seconds of sensual erotic delight (if you are a farmer).
Dim the lights, bring out the scented candles and turn the volume up as high as you dare. And remember there's nothing dirtier than an aroused farmer. Just check their finger nails.
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